WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a suburb just 20 miles outside Washington, D.C., local man Charles “Chuck” Braxton has recently begun telling coworkers and friends that, “Really, the whole joke is in the headline, if you think about it.”
Chuck, who does banal office work for incompetent middle managers but has always styled himself a comedian, went on to say, “I mean, I could write these articles. The headline is an amusing observation, but the rest of the article just drags out the joke by having imaginary interviews with pedestrians.”
According to Wikipedia, The Onion is a satirical newspaper founded in 1988 by Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson. While originally just a joint project between the two college students with limited circulation on several campuses, The Onion has since flourished into a fully developed satirical news organization featuring a television network, website, and twitter account. But it’s the Facebook posts that really get to Chuck.
“I see the same headline 5 times a day on my timeline,” explained an exasperated Chuck. “And yeah, the jokes are funny, but it’s always the same pattern. I just wish they would spice things up a bit sometimes.”
Sources close to Chuck have indicated that, “If he doesn’t shut up about this ‘Only the headlines are funny’ thing, I’m seriously going to kick his ass.” At press time, The Onion had not responded to requests for comment.